A bare naked french lady...
The official national pass-time for Kenyan workers is chatting. If you are an employer and you see people glued to their screens for hours, its not because they have become so industrious! They are chatting. And I had a rare encounter with some french speaking woman on Yahoo messenger! Its a story worth telling!
Nothing good ever comes from france. A french bath is a false bath, a french leave causes so much trouble, a french bread looks nothing like your normal bread and french fries are not even french. So what is a french lady? You guessed it right. A very abnormal lady! And so what is a Kenyan french lady? That is a giant problem.
If you are Kenyan, speaking in French does not make you a frenchman just the same way that parking your wheelbarrow in the garage cannot make it a limousine. This lady I met is one such person. I type one statement in french and the entire french vocabulary flows into my chat window like she invented the language! Not to mention she called me afew unprintable words.
It all started when I sent a friend of mine an instant message using Yahoo messenger. Being the goldfish that she is (sic), she called upon her french speaking collegue to translate. Now, we all know that when the rabbit screams, the fox runs, but definately not to help. She decided to chat with me instead of translating to my friend. And since the only things that are infinite in this world are the universe and human stupidity, I stupidly jumped into the conversation!
What started as a curious chat turned into a battle of french insults. She called me a chicken, I called her a pig. She called me a jackass and I told her to kiss my **s. Soon the amount of insults flowing were immense. Am telling you, that female french mammal can type! I was getting beaten at my own game (my french is a lil rusty so to speak) and she wasnt willing to switch to English!
I soon gave up and offered her lunch and guess what she says her favourite meal is. French fries and chicken! I thought french cuisine was renowned the world over and all this this female Jacques Chirac could think of was chips? Viazi? I was disappointed so I bailed out!
Next morning we are at it again, this time with bare naked fists! Soon she is fuming so hard that my friend says she may break her keyboard! She calls me a chicken again and I tell her its common knowledge that men are dogs. That is where she said am just a puppy! And all in french! So I told her am writing this article and I will will entitle it "Une vraie salope!" which means a complete bitch!
She complained that the title wasnt good so I had to get another one thus, "A BARE NAKED FRENCH LADY!" Not that her clothes are missing, just that her morals are absent!
PS: If she has the psyke, I'll let her write a reply to this article and I will post it here.