JOKEs and other funny stuff
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts....
"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man."
"That's correct," says the defendant.
"Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you tak...
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe....
A lawyer who works in Texas gets a call about an emergency which requires him to immediately fly out of the state for a short period of time. He has no time to pack, so he calls home to tell his wife he is going.
The maid answers the call, bu...
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. ...
A 54-year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:
Dear Wife, I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18-year old secretary.
When he arri...
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their Family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.
"...
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, o...
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build...
The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary.
The old woman said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon."
"Uh huh," said the old man.
"We will do all ...
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